The Christmas Colon & Everybody Has One Long Toe


Speaker 0 00:00:04 Oh shit. Oh, shit. Well, that was a good start.
Speaker 1 00:00:08
Speaker 0 00:00:21 Hey, Hey, how’s it going?
Speaker 2 00:00:25 Uh, it’s it’s going, you know, things are sure. Do things are happening days are passing, so yeah. How are you?
Speaker 0 00:00:36 I am, well, I, um, I got my COVID vaccine first dose yesterday. Joining the club. Yeah, it was, uh, it was lovely. Um, my arm was very sore. I didn’t believe people who told me that my arm would be sore. I didn’t, I really didn’t believe them. And then literally it felt like I was sleeping on a soft ball. Like when I rolled up, I was like, Oh, like, I was very surprised.
Speaker 2 00:01:05 So mine, I couldn’t like lift my arm past, like here. Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:01:10 Yeah. It’s very, very hard to do that. But, um, so I forgot though, because since I’m a restaurant worker, like that’s why I was able to get the vaccine. Ah, yes, yes, yes. Um, well I basically rolled out of bed and went to go get the vaccine and I forgot to bring proof of where I work. Oh my God. Proof of my address. And I show up there with like my little printout that says my appointment and I just like handed my ID and they’re like, okay. But like, how do we know that it’s okay for you to be here? Like, we need proof of this. And I was like, Oh my God, I forgot my W2. Like I couldn’t believe I forgot it. And I’m like doing the math in my head. I’m like, I don’t have time to go all the way back. Like, and they’re like, it’s okay. Just look, uh, like, do you have an email from them? Or like, are they on social media? And wow.
Speaker 2 00:02:06 I was going to say it aren’t you in pictures on their social media.
Speaker 0 00:02:10 I’m the new face of the restaurant that is true and has been said, but, um, but yes, I am on their social media and I was just on it recently. And literally like, it’s just a picture of my arm holding a cocktail. But because of my tattoo, I like pulled my sleeve up and I was like, that’s me. And they go, Oh yeah, that works. So I just, I thought that was so funny that I literally was like, how do I prove that I work here? And I’m like, this is me, my phone, this is my arm. So that was my excitement this week.
Speaker 2 00:02:46 That was pretty impressive though. But that was like, Oh yeah, that is your arm. That works.
Speaker 0 00:02:51 Yeah. And then they’re like, do you have any proof of your address? And I was like, ha ha ha. Then I’m like, they literally go, what about your Amazon? Or like Etsy orders? And I was like, well just ordered stuff like this week. Actually
Speaker 2 00:03:05 See, there you go. So are we ready? Are you ready? I’m always ready be yeah.
Speaker 0 00:03:14 Okay. Well you said that this was a doozy
Speaker 2 00:03:20 And do the indeed. I
Speaker 0 00:03:22 Was like, what word did she use? Yeah, it’s an easy, you said it was a doozy, so I’m excited. I’m ready for a doozy. I’m not dozing for a doosey. I’m doing, I don’t know. Okay. Okay. I just wanted to, I was trying to a more active verb. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:03:38 Ooh. Okay. So sister, I wish you would not listen to this part because I’m going to give a warning to everybody else who’s listening. But um, I need this morning to know, cause I can see what you’re doing. Uh, probably not a good idea to eat food while this,
Speaker 0 00:03:57 So it’s going to be really gross. I mean,
Speaker 2 00:03:59 You know, we’ll see. Okay. Um, this was actually, so, you know, we talk about our name and like, Oh, it’s like things we wonder about when we research into. And like, I honestly, this was one of those things that literally just came up out of conversation with somebody and I was like, what the actual fuck. I never thought about this. So I did a bunch of research and also harassed my friend that ton for details. Um, yeah. Okay. So are you ready?
Speaker 0 00:04:30 I don’t know, but I suppose, I suppose I am, I am. I’m prepared.
Speaker 2 00:04:35 All right. I’m going to set the stage. Okay. Heard. So you open a metal door right in front of you is a room with ominous white walls. What? My friend calls loony bin white walls. Hmm. Are they soft? Uh, I don’t think so. Um, with fluorescent lights and only one window and I like to picture the fluorescent lights, like flickering a little bit. You hear that loud buzzing, you know, like, yeah. How does that go? Boom. You’re welcome. Um, yeah. So in this ominous white room with flickering fluorescent lights and only one window. Um, and if you look outside the window, it’s always storming by the way, this is how we’re setting the stage. Okay. Okay. So there’s three rows of desks. It’s big metal desks. And on top there’s a bunch of flasks and knives and weirdly different colored inks, like, uh, like a little rainbow.
Speaker 2 00:05:46 And um, you know, there’s also these carts that are next to all of the desks, right? And you make your through this dim, didn’t you like really depressing looking room with all these desks and all this equipment. Right? And in the back, there’s a storage room with industrial shelves and on the shelves are clear labeled jars of varying sizes. And in the jars floating in the clear liquid is an array of different body parts. Yeah. Yep. Exactly. This is quoting my friend exactly how you’re picturing without the eerie green glow. And as you walk back out into this main room, you see that the carts that are next to the desks are also full of body parts and by body parts, I mean colons, Prius, gallbladders, appendixes. Um, my friend says if it gets cut off of you, we are going to keep it as a student.
Speaker 3 00:06:57 Oh, Oh no. Oh no. This is real. This is real. Um,
Speaker 2 00:07:05 Anything amputated fingers, toes, legs. In fact, there is a whole fridge full of legs that smells like death.
Speaker 3 00:07:16 Okay. Oh my God.
Speaker 2 00:07:20 Yep. And this was a real place.
Speaker 3 00:07:22 I have never thought about this ever once. Thank you for a new nightmare.
Speaker 2 00:07:27 Wow. That’s what I’m here for sister. Um, so would you like to guess what kind of place I’m describing a hospital? No, not technically
Speaker 3 00:07:39 Adjacent adjacent hospital. Adjacent office. Right. Amputee wing. I bet it’s like in a separate building. Like maybe like across the street and it’s super dingy and it’s like part of the hospital, but it’s like the amputee wing and it’s like dying out there. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:07:58 I like that a lot. Yes. That’s good. Yeah. So this is actually a pathology lab. Uh,
Speaker 3 00:08:07 Makes sense. Oh though. Oh, you know, they don’t show this on Rizzoli and Isles.
Speaker 2 00:08:14 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We’re going to talk about
Speaker 3 00:08:17 Also Wolf.
Speaker 2 00:08:19 Yeah. Um, so it’s a pathology lab. So in this lab and they receive all the fluids or physical parts of people that have been removed for testing. And when I say all the fluids, you know, you think like you’re in blood, whatever, but it’s also like abscess fluid stuff.
Speaker 3 00:08:39 Stop, stop. No
Speaker 2 00:08:43 Fluid from the lungs fluid around the
Speaker 3 00:08:45 Heart, you know, kinds of things. Oh my God.
Speaker 2 00:08:49 So in this lab, there are three main clinical areas. There’s the main receiving area where said body parts are delivered. There’s an area called gross pathology and LOL it’s. I feel like gross is ironic, but that’s not what it means. And I don’t know how to say this. I’m going to tell you in a second. Okay. Cyto biology. Um, so those are the three main areas, right? Gross pathology. So we’re going to break down gross pathology. Pathology is a branch of medical science that involves the study and diagnosis of disease through examination of surgically removed organs, tissues, bodily fluids. And in some cases the whole body like autopsy, that’s technically pathology, however gross examination. It says the macroscopic examination of organs. So basically what you’re doing is you’re describing the size, the shape, the color, the consistency of tissue, you know, you’re doing it based. You’re performing a quote-unquote examination with your senses except for tasting. Don’t do that. That’s gross.
Speaker 4 00:09:54 Oh my God. Thank you for that clarification. So, so welcome. Oh. Oh. So they also give me the chill.
Speaker 2 00:10:06 So they also in this gross examination, they get patient slash organ info, the anatomical site, like where it was removed from the description. And then they cut the tissue into blocks for yeah. Or other samples sizes, uh, for different diagnostic tests. Um, told us that’s Yahtzee. Yep.
Speaker 4 00:10:32 Oh man. I don’t want to
Speaker 2 00:10:36 Uh huh. Okay. And cytology, cytology. I’m probably saying this wrong. I’m so sorry is the testing and fluids. So like I said, normally you’re in her blood, but also abscess fluid, any other fluids that happen. Okay. Okay. So my friend who works here,
Speaker 4 00:10:53 You know, someone who works at the pathology lab. Aha. Oh no. I’m Zaytoven.
Speaker 2 00:10:59 I mean, they told me what happened to them that day. I asked them how their day was and they told me, and I was like, where the fuck do you work? Are you in like Frankenstein’s laboratory right now? Because that’s what it fucking sounds like. Okay. I mean, I think it does.
Speaker 4 00:11:14 I am Kevin McCallister over here. I know. Just shocked
Speaker 2 00:11:19 When she’s not making gross out noises. Her mouth is doing a perfect Oh. Of like a silent scream as she holds her tiny face.
Speaker 4 00:11:28 Yes. Just me painted like the screen painting or mouth hanging open, like a called fish. Oh my God.
Speaker 2 00:11:38 When a specimen comes in speced then as in body part, um, my friend checks the labels, make sure they have the right specimen process into the lab system. Like make a medical case, set up all the cassettes and flasks for each test and then doles them out to either the gross pathology or the cytology cytology, uh, sectors of the clinic. And then the people at the, those two different areas that I think it’s the system pathologists. Do you like the cuts and create slides from the tissue and stuff like that. So,
Speaker 4 00:12:18 Um, trust when my friend was telling me about this,
Speaker 2 00:12:23 He’s like, yeah. So they cut them into different blocks and sizes for the test and they cut open and see what the tissue looks like, different levels, blah, blah, blah. So they also use, uh, ink to, um, like quote unquote label the, uh, the Oregon. So it’s like, you know, you can’t put like a sticky label on the Oregon so that, that’s why they have all those different colored inks. They’ll use that to help them know what is, what or what to look for, or it helps them when they’re running tests to okay. I think to help stuff stand out more, I would guess based on my rudimentary knowledge of the past day and a half.
Speaker 4 00:13:03 And so,
Speaker 2 00:13:05 Yeah, like I said, uh, all this stuff includes fingers, colons, placenta, anything amputated breasts from breast cancer or preventative surgeries, tons of hearts, lungs, or gallbladders, et cetera. Like the list goes on and on.
Speaker 4 00:13:21 Oh my gosh. The, uh,
Speaker 2 00:13:23 The part that got me asked talking to my friend about this was that he told me that where he works has a fridge of legs. He said, there’s a fridge of about 15 legs and they’re amputated legs mainly used for testing when diabetes. So I think I might be very wrong. I know that having feet amputated can be a side effect of diabetes. I think it has to do with like diabetes messes with the blood flow. And so your foot just essentially starts to die. Unlike most of the other things in this lab. So it, most of the other things in this lab get put in a formaldehyde or from Mauldin, I think is what it’s also called. Yeah. So you don’t really, you know, it freezes it, they call it fixing it, quote unquote, um, because it stops the decomp and it leaves it at that stage. Um, well the legs are not put in from all to hide and they decay and they’re not put in a freezer, they’re put in a fridge I think. And uh, yeah, so that doesn’t stop the bacteria. And because these limbs that are, that have been amputated are already rife with bacteria from essentially dying before they were amputated the decay process up a lot.
Speaker 0 00:14:52 Wow. So why do they keep them if they’re decaying like that and what do they do with them when they’re done with them, destroy them. I was going to say there’s probably like an incinerator situation. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:15:04 Yeah. Um, they keep the legs and everything else for three months so that the doctors can do additional testing if necessary. Um, but as I said, because these legs are just kept in a fridge. It, they will off, you can smell the decay. Right.
Speaker 0 00:15:22 Oh my goodness. I don’t understand how, I mean like mad respect to people who like are pathologists and are like researching things to help us all be better together. That sounded like a weird
Speaker 2 00:15:36 .
Speaker 0 00:15:40 Oh man. Yeah, exactly. But seriously. Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good for you. I don’t, I don’t know how you do it. I have no idea how you do it.
Speaker 2 00:15:52 Yeah. It for you, it sounds very intense. It sounds very intense and not something that I would ever consider doing. Like, no, thank you. Like I still can’t get up like 15 legs and feet in a fridge. 15 K and they’re D anyways. And so example this, he, uh, he had a foot come in that was particularly bad. Right. All the toes were black and there was person is coming out. Oh no. When it was amputated. So 24 hours, since there was already infection present, it sped up the decay like exponentially because yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah. I mean props to him for doing a job like that. And he says he finds it gross, but interesting. So like cool. I’m, I’m pretty good without having that in my life. Um, but I do have some, uh, anecdotes for you. Wow.
Speaker 0 00:16:54 You ready? Bar mats for gross. The what? Bar mats.
Speaker 2 00:17:00 Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh no. Oh no. Okay. This one, what did I drink? Something that was so stupid.
Speaker 0 00:17:11 I don’t know. I don’t know, but I’m going to drink something. Um, um,
Speaker 2 00:17:15 You’re going to regret it. Don’t do it as you continued to drink you even slurped.
Speaker 0 00:17:22 I did not. Did I? I’m sorry. Let ready.
Speaker 2 00:17:26 Okay. As I was chatting with this person catching up, um, he says, uh, yeah, I was like, so what other kinds of stuff do you get? And he’s like, well, uh, we got a giant worm and I’m like, really? Where’d you get that from me? The ground I hope. And what do you mean by giant? And he says it’s six inches long. So it’s like a $20 bill, right? Yeah. The patient had peed it out and he said, it looked like a long white spaghetti noodle. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Apparently this thing $20 bills are six inches, by the way, now you sure that they are six. Okay. Well we’ll do that later. Okay. Um, but yeah. Okay. Six inch worm that peed out. Oh. And apparently this type of worm is very Dick wasn’t. I did not ask because I did not want to know. Okay. He said it looked like he said it looked like spaghetti and I left it at that. Okay. Yup. Yup, yup. Yup. Um, so this particular type of worm, uh, is very common in lakes in some parts of Africa and Asia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, and we know, I mean, I don’t know. Yeah. You remember, but there was a couple of kids that died from bacteria and I don’t know it was an amoeba from the Lake. Yeah. But yeah, there’s definitely, uh, increased my fear of lakes.
Speaker 0 00:19:10 Yo, I have a healthy fear of all bodies of water, but definitely lakes. There is a Lake that is near me and it’s really, really pretty. And um, but it’s pretty clear. So, and it’s very, very deep and I can tell it’s very deep as you can see the edge where it just drops.
Speaker 2 00:19:36 Oh, cool. Thanks, bye. Um, yeah. Uh, I don’t know the, the one body of water that I did, like, although it was very cold, um, or the Springs in Florida,
Speaker 0 00:19:50 Those I do like, you know why? Because the water pushes you out
Speaker 2 00:19:54 And you can see everything,
Speaker 0 00:19:55 You can see everything and you’re not going to get sucked in,
Speaker 2 00:19:58 But also bodies of water are terrifying for the tiny microscopic parasites that we can’t see. I don’t know that one. Yeah. That one really messed me up when I was a kid, I think we were like 13 and we had just been to, I think we had just gone swimming in a Lake in Florida too. I don’t know why or I had, and then this kid who had done a similar thing, like got sick and died and a couple of days it was terrifying.
Speaker 0 00:20:25 Yeah. Yeah. No, that was my first dose of maybe not lakes. I mean, like I was afraid, I went to the beach a bunch and I was touched a bunch of sea creatures and I’m like, maybe not the ocean,
Speaker 2 00:20:38 You know, it’s funny. It’s like, I was initially terrified of lakes in Florida because of the Gators. But then that changed quick.
Speaker 0 00:20:45 No, I’m down with the, and I’m down with the Gators. Why do we always end up talking to
Speaker 2 00:20:50 About Florida? I know. Apparently it made its Mark on us. He really has, but yeah,
Speaker 0 00:20:57 No Gators are chill, man. Oh, did you see the video?
Speaker 2 00:21:03 We talk about it.
Speaker 0 00:21:04 So I got our parents, a wildlife camera, like for Christmas, like two years ago and they finally put it up. Good for them. I’m very happy. I had forgotten about it too. Um, but they put it up right on the trail, like right on the trail, which is not that far from the house. Like yes, some yards,
Speaker 2 00:21:28 Some yard
Speaker 0 00:21:29 It’s within eyesight from the door. It is close. And um, yeah. And so at three o’clock in the morning, I think it was the first night they put it out to, it was insane and they caught a Wolf. Now they didn’t catch a Wolf. The camera caught a Wolf,
Speaker 2 00:21:47 Cut a wall, put their name on the trees rabbit. But Oh my God, the way we know it was a Wolf and not just a coyote dog
Speaker 0 00:21:57 Here, I’m done with that.
Speaker 2 00:21:59 But the reason why we know this is because a deer passed by that camera, not 10 minutes earlier. And this Wolf was the same fucking size as the deer.
Speaker 0 00:22:09 Yeah. It’s just crazy someone mom. Yeah. She was like, isn’t that scary? Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:22:16 Wolves are cute. They’re cool.
Speaker 0 00:22:17 Well, you know, it’s like as long as you’re not like trampling their young or like antagonizing them, I think it’s okay.
Speaker 2 00:22:25 Do you know what? I’m sorry, go ahead. No, yeah. I was going to say, do you know what I told mom? I was like, Oh, look, now you have a property guardian. Yeah, I know. Right.
Speaker 0 00:22:35 She was like, we need a bigger dog. Well, it turns out you got a bunch. Um, also the Wolf was walking toward the house and there’s this second encounter? Not counting, like finding tracks of wolves in the snow second, like real encounter with a Wolf since I’ve been up here. Do you know how many people I know who have lived up here? Their whole life and I’ve never seen a Wolf. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, I like completely. So we’re talking about limbs and fridges.
Speaker 2 00:23:01 Oh, well actually we were talking about giant worms and I had to get your welcome. Um, so I had to get this quote for my friend. Um, I was like, I cannot get over the worms. Like how common are they? And he’s like, actually they’re not that common at all. It was pretty new for me. And he had been, he’s been working there for a while and it was huge. And he’s like, but then he continues. But worms are super common though. I’m like what? He’s like. Yeah. Lots of people have GI worms as in like, uh, gastrointestinal. Yeah. And then he goes, you probably to do too. I was like, dude, what? And he’s like, ha goodnight. I’m like, you’re the worst.
Speaker 0 00:23:50 Hey guys. So we all just learned together as a group that apparently we all have worms, so that’s cool. Yay. I mean like, I’m pretty sure he don’t don’t drinks herself. God damn it.
Speaker 2 00:24:02 Yup. So, um, another one that he told me in this conversation, he said this weekend. So on the weekends, I think he works in the lab by himself. And he said he had to process a whole rack of placentas. Ooh.
Speaker 0 00:24:21 Like, yeah, you did it go girl.
Speaker 2 00:24:24 Yeah. Yes. He has to like do the in processing, put them in the database, get them prepped, all that fun stuff.
Speaker 0 00:24:30 And that’s given me phenomemon my vibes now. Right.
Speaker 2 00:24:35 I feel like that was like the galaxy quest alien noise. Oh,
Speaker 0 00:24:40 Oh my God. That was gorgeous. Thank you. I tried so hard. I love it.
Speaker 2 00:24:45 Um, so yeah, he said he has a whole rack of placentas, like 10, 15 placentas to process, um, for any potential issues. And then with the placentas, they’re either discarded or they go home with the mother.
Speaker 0 00:25:01 Okay, good. Because I was really scared that you were going to say Eaton, but we know why they’re going home with the mothers
Speaker 2 00:25:06 Going home to get . I don’t know why that makes you feel better. It’s either they like eat it outright or they took it down and put them into pills to then eat them. Apparently it’s supposed to help with postpartum depression. I mean, girl, I guess whatever helps get you through that, but it’s your placenta. Fuck. No, also the, the, the, uh, the male counterpart at the time when he saw that was like, Oh, that’s so gross. It looks like an alien. I was like, thanks, douche.
Speaker 0 00:25:45 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I was talking to somebody recently about, um, babies and they were like, Oh, not for me. That’s really gross. And then they go, Oh, sorry. And I was like, no,
Speaker 2 00:26:05 No, it is in fact
Speaker 0 00:26:07 Actually very gross. I mean like good for you, you know, you birth to life and that’s nice. It’s very nice.
Speaker 2 00:26:18 And there’s so many gross things. Okay. So
Speaker 0 00:26:21 This is horrifying. Mostly,
Speaker 2 00:26:24 This is the other thing that kills me. And this is what happened to me when I was pregnant. It was like, you know, everybody’s like, Oh, that’s such a beautiful process. It’s so wonderful and magical and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. There’s so much gross stuff that they don’t tell you until you’re already in it. And they’re like, ha, get ready for hemorrhoids or anal fissures. You’re welcome. Bye.
Speaker 3 00:26:51 See, this is the thing that people need to know out there. If you’re trying to have kids like pro like just learn about it all. I’m just saying, be aware. That’s my philosophy shut up stops. I don’t like those two words put together. I understand. It’s a thing, but we need a new name for it. Mini flaps.
Speaker 1 00:27:14 Nope. Nope, Nope, no, no. Thank you.
Speaker 2 00:27:20 Mm. Okay. So I won’t gross you out with that specific example anymore.
Speaker 3 00:27:25 Oh my gosh. Now I’m thinking of like mini flaps is like a roaring twenties tap dancer
Speaker 2 00:27:34 A much better way to go with that. I like it.
Speaker 1 00:27:39 Ooh.
Speaker 2 00:27:41 So in this lab, one of the many things that they get, uh, which you know, is encompassed by the anything that’s cut out of you or off of you,
Speaker 3 00:27:53 We give that category. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:27:55 He was telling me about the first time that he got an eyeball. And so
Speaker 3 00:28:01 I weirdly would be interested in because I, as I just find very interesting, but also I don’t want an eyeball,
Speaker 2 00:28:07 Just wait, just wait. So he said that the eyeball wasn’t fixed, which means that it wasn’t in formaldehyde yet. And it was in really good external condition. Uh, it was, he said it was probably removed for some sort of vascular issue. Um, and it was pulled less than 30 minutes before my friend received it.
Speaker 3 00:28:27 Oh my goodness. So
Speaker 2 00:28:28 It literally had just been in somebody’s head and he picked it up and looked at it and realized, and he’s like, I had this really surreal moment where I realized that I was looking at somebody’s eye that had been in use, not that long before, like a friend’s episode of time previously, it was in somebody’s head working and somebody could see out of it
Speaker 3 00:28:55 Previously on friends. I know this guy.
Speaker 2 00:29:00 Yeah. And then, um, two days later, my friend also in processed a foot from the same dude. Yeah. He lost his foot due to severe diabetes.
Speaker 3 00:29:19 Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:29:20 And he felt bad. Cause he’s like, I just kept checking in all this guys, body parts that were getting taken from him. Yeah. He said like, it was so weird. Cause I looked like it was in perfect condition. It was bright blue and it looked like it should have been staring back at him, but obviously it had had been removed, so it’s not working anymore, you know?
Speaker 3 00:29:38 Yeah. But what, what happens when it’s not working?
Speaker 0 00:29:42 What do you mean? Like it’s just an eyeball,
Speaker 2 00:29:45 Right? Well, I mean, they took it out of the person’s head and it’s not connected to, you know, an, a blood flow source or any
Speaker 0 00:29:52 Like some part of it was like, beep boop, I’m off now. You know?
Speaker 2 00:29:56 I mean, if I was an eyeball, that’s how I would act personally. But you know, beep boop, I’m off. Hey, there’s our sign off. Oh, okay. Yeah. I’m off now. I wish you guys could have seen her face. He also, and I’m grouping the eyeball experiences together. So this one you’re not going to like more than one. Yeah. This one you’re not going to like, so I’m just going to warn you. Um, the other eyeball experience was that they had an eyeball that came in a person that had parasitic worms in their eyes. No. And he said he could see the worms come in and out of the cornea. Oh, Oh yeah. My friend was telling me about this one time he got a new leg that he had to impress us. It just sounded funny. So he was putting the leg into the leg fridge because there is a light stash where they in this place. Yes. I know like that’s one thing that I still can’t get over. Like I know there’s a whole bunch of other gross things, but there’s a whole fridge dedicated to legs. Some weird ask him to describe the fridge. He just said it was a fridge full of legs.
Speaker 0 00:31:20 Yeah. But I’m thinking if he’s in a lab or if he’s in like a commercial, you know, the building, you know, they’re going to have like, uh, uh, a decent sized fridge. Yeah. Uh, I mean, it’s like your regular fridge. This is a good size.
Speaker 2 00:31:35 So he said like 15 legs, which I love you friend. But knowing him could be anywhere between like 10 and 15, but still, when you think about 10 legs, like think about how much space that takes up.
Speaker 0 00:31:50 Uh, what I’m imagining is like, you know, when you like go to like, um, little convenience store or something or a gas station and they have those like coolers where all the beverages are in. And instead of there being beverages, it’s just like a little cooling rack and they’ve got like little trays of legs
Speaker 2 00:32:08 Bags. Yeah. That’s kind of what I’m picturing too. Yeah. Yep. So he’s um, he unprocessed a new leg and was putting the new leg into the leg fridge. So he moved some of the other legs aside to make room for this leg. Oh boy. When he pushed them, when he pushed them, one of the bags popped and all sorts of fluids came, pouring out all over him. Oh dear. What? He called a blood and mixture.
Speaker 3 00:32:41 Oh, I know who this is now.
Speaker 2 00:32:43 Probably. Hi. I was going to say shout out to them. Shout
Speaker 3 00:32:48 Out. Hey. So
Speaker 2 00:32:50 Then he also had to deflate the, a bag of another leg to make more room because the bacteria had gone to work so much that a bunch of gases had released inflated the bag. So he punctured it. Oh no. It let out quote unquote, all the dead leg air.
Speaker 3 00:33:14 Oh, Oh no. Oh no. Dead leg. Air lab. Yep. And then the DLL
Speaker 2 00:33:25 And then he’s like, it wasn’t quick. It took like five minutes. And he then for what? For all the, what the dead leg air to escape and deflate enough. Um, and he says, death has this horrible, sweet smell that lingers on you for hours. He also said, now he could. Yeah. Yeah. Right. He also said that now he could probably smell a dead body from like 50 miles away because he’s so familiar with it. Yay.
Speaker 3 00:33:52 Wow. Interesting. Uh, interesting trick to have up your sleeve. You know, you always think, you know what a dead body smells like a dead mouse before and I’ve had to run past a dead deer. But amazingly I did that with my breath held.
Speaker 2 00:34:11 Nice. That’s impressive. Actually. Yeah. I nearly died, but okay. Well maybe you don’t do that. Okay.
Speaker 3 00:34:18 It’s okay. I stopped running. It’s
Speaker 2 00:34:20 Not a cute look and I don’t like that for you. Yeah. So we got two more anecdotes and then we’re done. Okay. Aren’t you so excited? I, um, I’m living the best for last. No Lord. Um, so this is another interesting anecdote. Um, they got a brain in which, Oh,
Speaker 3 00:34:38 Oh, that is interesting. So again, Brandon eyeball, I’m like, Hmm.
Speaker 2 00:34:42 Yeah. So this dude love him to death, but he also followed up the story with like referring to brains. Those are always from dead people as if they would be from alive.
Speaker 3 00:35:00 Come on. I was like, geez, Sarah got him some Slack. Of course they’re always from dead people. But then I’m like, Oh yeah, yeah. That’d be happy.
Speaker 2 00:35:09 Like a little offended that you felt the need to clarify that for me. But it’s fine. I won’t like take it to my grave or anything. Don’t worry.
Speaker 3 00:35:18 I don’t know. It got me questioning it. I was like, Oh, well I guess. And then I was like, wait a minute.
Speaker 2 00:35:23 Yep. So brains are usually there. If there’s something pathogenic, um, examples he gave or there’s other stuff like Parkinson’s Alzheimer’s brains with tumors, they run tons of tests on them to see the progression study the disease and all that kind of stuff. Right? So this particular brain came into the lab and was suspected of having a prion disease, which is like mad cow disease essentially or mad cow disease is prion disease. So prions are misfolded pathogenic proteins that caused cause lesions to build up in your brain by causing your regular proteins to copy their shape. It’s incurable and fatal and usually passes through human consumption, which that’s how people get mad cow disease because a cow has it and then they eat the beef and then they get the mad cow disease. Um, in other countries where they practice like ritualistic cannibalism, it can be an issue as well because if the person had it, then they eat them and then it gives them the thing.
Speaker 2 00:36:27 Wow. So in the lab, whatever it touches has to be destroyed. So the way he described it to me is that they, he saw this brain sitting on a table, which I’m assuming it was in a container, but like, who knows? And he’s like, dude, why is this thing out? Like, this is it’s suspected of having a prion on. We have to, they have to destroy everything or anything. It touches. Wow. Because it’s so contagious. Yeah. Uh, so they said they had to get, yeah, they said they had to get rid of a whole station. Uh, once the brain was analyzed. So it was like desks tables with all their tools and knives and bottled like, Oh, thinks everything had to be destroyed because of this one brain, which is super interesting to me.
Speaker 3 00:37:19 That’s crazy. Right. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:37:22 Okay. So now we’re going to end on a beautifully titled story, which he labeled the Christmas colon,
Speaker 3 00:37:32 The Christmas colon. Oh, I love that. So, okay.
Speaker 2 00:37:38 He was working alone on Christmas and came in to a tote all already, all already waiting for him already waiting. That’s what I was really trying not to do. So he opened it to find a giant container that had a it’s called a recto sigmoid, resection, a part of the colon. But it had burst from the container,
Speaker 3 00:38:11 Like it leaped from the container into the room. Or
Speaker 2 00:38:15 I would assume that is probably burst the container. That would be my assumption, but I don’t know.
Speaker 3 00:38:21 Okay. So close. Yep.
Speaker 2 00:38:23 Um, so it was in formaldehyde already, but you know, obviously the rectum is worse. Tool is stored. Oh
Speaker 3 00:38:33 Boy. Oh boy. You just, wow.
Speaker 2 00:38:36 Yep. So his Christmas morning consists of picking up this colon, reorientating, reorienting it and properly containing it. And then adding more formaldehyde and getting it set up for tests. Then he had the joy of cleaning up all the blood from aldehyde and stool that had escaped the original container. Wow. He said he didn’t throw up though, which I’m impressed with. I said, did you gag? He goes, yes. Immediately. Repeatedly, repeatedly pervasively, But no growing up so good for him. This guy, he’s a, he’s a trooper.
Speaker 3 00:39:23 I don’t know how you could eat anything working with her job ever. Like, I wouldn’t want to eat before work because I might lose it. I wouldn’t want to eat after work because I just got done working
Speaker 2 00:39:34 Also then like how do you look at other people and not see the horrors that you’ve seen at work? Like you look into, somebody dies like lovingly and then it looks like the eye of somebody. Yeah. But that whose eyeball you had in your hand, like, I feel like, uh, Nope.
Speaker 3 00:39:53 That’s so funny. I did not know they did that.
Speaker 2 00:40:02 Yup. And so like, you know, when I was sick, I obviously had a lot of tests run Poland, you know, most people normally have like blood or urine or whatever. Yeah. Um, but I never thought about all the other types of tests that they do or like, you know, you think about biopsy, but it’s, you know, I picture like this little tiny bit of skin taken and
Speaker 3 00:40:25 You know, like enough for a slide.
Speaker 2 00:40:27 Yeah. Put me in leading a slide. Um, where instead it’s not like this where it’s like Oregon, an amputee chop shop. Cause they cut them into like cubes for like your slices or whatever the fuck for analyzing and stuff. Wow. So yeah. I learned a lot of new and gross things over the past couple of days. Well thank you for sharing them with us. Yes. Thank you friend. Thank you friend. We greatly appreciate it.
Speaker 3 00:40:59 We do. I had no idea. And also, wow. Wow. I stand by everything I said earlier, like mad respect, but also just like, I don’t, I, I really cannot fathom how, how one does such things and like, yeah.
Speaker 2 00:41:14 Yeah. And then my thoughts, I didn’t ask it must because I D I hope this has never happened to him, but what if you’re working at a pathology lab, which I’m sure this isn’t the case, but I feel like maybe it’s happened once and like, you get your grandma’s amputated foot.
Speaker 3 00:41:30 Oh my God, stop. Stop. No, there has be, Oh, wow. No. Oh my gosh. Well, we hope that doesn’t happen to you, but like, what if anyone? Oh, but did can not,
Speaker 2 00:41:40 I don’t know. I didn’t want to ask him because he had to keep working and I was harassing him enough, but then like, you know, what, if the guy who peed out a giant worm, you’re like, Oh, that’s so gross. And then you recognize his name.
Speaker 3 00:41:54 It’s a good thing that people who work in pathology labs, like don’t also Moonlight in restaurants. Cause that could happen.
Speaker 2 00:42:00 Also fun fact. I tried to do research on my own too, in addition to talking to my friend and I could not find anything about the specifics of like, what is in a pathology lab. They talked about the inks a little bit. Oh my God. I read this article. That was like, it’s so beautiful with the rainbow colored inks. They’d neglect to mention all of the like actual shit that goes on. Yeah. Like I said,
Speaker 3 00:42:24 At what point in school? Sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 2 00:42:26 No, I was gonna say it. And like I said in the beginning, you know, it’s body parts in jars in clear floating liquid. Yeah. I eat exactly how you’re picturing it except without the weird eerie glow. Like isn’t that nuts.
Speaker 3 00:42:41 Yeah. I don’t know. That is crazy. That is crazy. I don’t, I mean, yeah. I don’t personally think that I would be able to do that. So I’m glad that there are people out there who can,
Speaker 2 00:42:58 You know, like pool that’s that’s no
Speaker 3 00:43:04 Goodness, right? No is right. Yeah. Oh man. That’s that was, that was a doozy.
Speaker 2 00:43:10 So yeah. Thank you to all of the pathology labs out there that help us, uh, in advancing medical science and also, you know, in making sure that a whole fridge of legs is, uh, clean and organized. Cause you know, apparently somebody is going to do it.
Speaker 3 00:43:29 Yeah. Yeah man. Yeah. Wow. That’s really like opened my mind. Things that you just really don’t think about, right? Yeah. I’m going down the rabbit hole and I’m also what, I think what you said it anyways, I’m not going down any kind of hole and Jess I’m, I’m following a train of thought. I’m choo choo choo, choo, choo, and right along. I like that. Yeah. Um, anyways, what was I gonna say? Oh, I wonder at what point in pathology school, they actually are like, they like, you know, unveil the true, but like I wonder at what point they’re like, all right, so we got you this far. Uh, this is what you’re actually going to be doing.
Speaker 2 00:44:25 So they do, um, take, I think the students who are gonna go to school for pathology, they do while they’re in school, um, take them to like cadaver labs and stuff. I mean, I would assume. Right.
Speaker 3 00:44:40 But it’s like, it’s different when you’re dealing with like a whole body. I would imagine foreigner.
Speaker 2 00:44:47 No, no, no, no. I just,
Speaker 3 00:44:49 So in cadaver labs, do they have just like,
Speaker 2 00:44:52 I assume they would give them practice like yeah. Practice pieces, practice
Speaker 3 00:44:57 Pieces, practice pieces is what we’re calling body parts.
Speaker 4 00:45:00 Yep. Yep. This is a very, uh,
Speaker 2 00:45:07 I know it’s crazy in a way you didn’t expect. Right. I was like, yeah, there’s something creepy. And I like couldn’t think of anything. And then I was talking with my friend and I was like, this is what we’re doing. And also, because I really wanted to describe it like Frankenstein’s lab and see what you would come up with or how you would react.
Speaker 3 00:45:23 Yeah. Yeah. I was also thinking I’m like, it’s really funny when you think back to like bones are resilient, Isles, how their labs are so beautifully lit and they’re always lit up. That’s the same with, uh, with Rosewood. It’s all beautiful. It’s very aesthetic. Like everything’s very clean. It’s, it’s all chic. It’s modern. Everything’s that all these white backlight, you know, situation going on and you never actually, uh, you never see what’s in those drawers. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 00:45:55 And in bones, they’re just, they’re just bones, you know,
Speaker 3 00:45:59 That’s true. That’s true. We do know their, at least their bones. So they’re not worms and or stool and or other things and words that I don’t want to mention.
Speaker 2 00:46:08 I was going to say he did also mention getting anal Wharton. So that’s fun. I’m sorry.
Speaker 4 00:46:17 Yeah,
Speaker 2 00:46:17 I did just say that while you were about to have a sip of Rosa. You’re welcome. White. He said he got eight anal warts to in-process that had been cut off. Somebody say, no, God, no. So need the rest. That description while you didn’t respond. So that’s what broke me.
Speaker 4 00:46:47 Okay.
Speaker 3 00:46:47 Yeah. I didn’t know. I had a secret password and off switch and it’s that? It’s that
Speaker 2 00:46:55 Don’t tell me that. Cause I’ll use it again in the future and you all like it, see emergency shut off
Speaker 4 00:47:01 Treadmill. You know,
Speaker 2 00:47:07 I wish you guys could have seen her too. Cause she just completely froze. Like her face didn’t move, nothing moves. She just froze. And that’s why I kept talking. Cause I’m like, I don’t know. Maybe she wants more. Who knows? Well, no, no one wants more of that
Speaker 4 00:47:20 Goodbye. Oh my God. Beep boop. I’m done now. Yeah. Whatever I said. Yeah. Yeah. Are you, uh,
Speaker 2 00:47:39 Tell me a story. I’m sure your story isn’t as traumatizing as my story was.
Speaker 4 00:47:44 Uh,
Speaker 0 00:47:46 It’s not, I don’t even I’m yes. I’m getting there. I’m here.
Speaker 2 00:47:51 You got to get the animal words out of the brain
Speaker 4 00:47:53 Stop. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I can’t even, you know, whew. Oh my God.
Speaker 2 00:48:12 She’s still, she’s still broken guys.
Speaker 4 00:48:15 She needs to make, and I’m like,
Speaker 0 00:48:17 I feel like that’s another name for doozy
Speaker 4 00:48:22 She’s
Speaker 2 00:48:23 She’s rebooting slowly.
Speaker 0 00:48:25 And that, that was evidence of that. Yeah. Always Wolf. Okay.
Speaker 4 00:48:30 So hi. Hi.
Speaker 0 00:48:35 They, I am going to talk about
Speaker 4 00:48:40 Pirates. Yay. Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:48:43 Yes. Um, basically I was really just wondering recently, like how real were pirates. When was this going on? Which people were, you know, created by books and stories such as like treasure Island and w are, you know, are there actually people, real people in history, you know, that coincide with us. Yeah.
Speaker 4 00:49:07 Yeah. Um, as I’m sure, you know, we all wonder
Speaker 0 00:49:12 At like 11 in the morning, just like, huh.
Speaker 4 00:49:15 Huh. And what about pirates?
Speaker 2 00:49:17 You know, what’s funny though, is I actually had pirates down as one of my topics and not just like pirates in general because I was thinking of it. So I like playing video games and um, you know, Assassin’s creed has a pirate version and I had been talking to somebody about the pirate version. I was thinking about it and the infrastructure and the way it’s set up in the game. And I’m like, I wonder how the infrastructure actually worked because I had to have some level of organization for it to be prevalent for a while. And so, yeah, that was one of my topics as well. And also I have a pirate, which obviously now you’re covering, but I have a pirate tattoo. Remember? I do remember there she is. Her name is Rosa and she’s the best. Oh, well, Hey Rosa, thanks for hanging out with
Speaker 4 00:49:58 This girl. Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:50:00 I would hate for you to end up in the pathology lab one
Speaker 2 00:50:05 Day. Why, why would you make me think that
Speaker 4 00:50:10 One day Rosa might be on her own? I would just say that to me now. I’m thinking about that about all my tattoos. I’m like, don’t put that evil on here with
Speaker 0 00:50:20 Me. So you know what tattoos aren’t forever. You guys
Speaker 4 00:50:24 There’s no guarantee. So it
Speaker 2 00:50:28 Reminds me real quick. It just reminds me of this horrifying episode
Speaker 5 00:50:33 Of, uh,
Speaker 2 00:50:35 Emergency ER or something like that on like TLC. Yeah. And this guy got in a motorcycle accident and had all his legs amputated. Oh my goodness. All those amputated limbs went to the pathology lab.
Speaker 5 00:50:49 Wow. Yep. And then
Speaker 2 00:50:53 You made me think that yeah, it mine. Oh no, I don’t like it. No, they’re on me. They have to stay with me. Sorry. I didn’t mean to go there, but I think like weirdly I’m okay with the idea of organ donation, but like my biology lab I’m like my organs, but I don’t need anything.
Speaker 0 00:51:12 Identifying features, just being out there in a, in a drawer. Whoa. I don’t know why that matters afterwards. It doesn’t. It just is
Speaker 2 00:51:22 That’s thought. Yeah. Okay. So yeah. I mean, I am covered
Speaker 0 00:51:27 Pirates, but really we’re, it’s going to be the story of the King of pirates. There’s a King apparently, you know, there’s, there’s your infrastructure right there. Apparently that was King. So, um, yeah, as it turns out, obviously pirates were a very real issue. Um, back in the day for anyone who watch watched black sails, I literally saw one episode because that was before we had internet. And um, there is, Oh, we know you watched that then. Sorry. I tried to watch an episode before we had internet and it got stuck on the opening screen for about 40 minutes. And then I was like, well, I’ve got to go now. Like that was the time I had a lotted for the show. Um, and then we watched the, we watched the first episode, um, which by the way, somewhat of a spoiler, like maybe watch the first episode by yourself and like not with your friends,
Speaker 2 00:52:25 Parents. Yeah. I already knew that there was gratuitous sex. I did not know that. Oh, I had heard it from people at work because we had been, we were talking about it.
Speaker 0 00:52:34 You mentioned that to me. I was, I was told, Oh, it’s a good show. Oh, you’re talking about pirates now you definitely should watch it. Oh, Oh, we all were there. We all were there. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:52:49 Well enjoyed a very lovely moment together.
Speaker 0 00:52:54 You know, we watched Outlander together. So really it’s like, we’re all adults now. I just would’ve liked to have known
Speaker 2 00:53:00 Beforehand and just mentally prepared yourself.
Speaker 0 00:53:03 No clue what was about to happen to me. But I’m one of the people that has mentioned even in that first episode, uh, was black beard. Even though I don’t think you actually meet black beard in the first episode you kind of do don’t I got to stop. I gotta stop. I’m going to
Speaker 4 00:53:27 Word time burning for diverting away from me.
Speaker 0 00:53:30 Black sails. We’re now into real private territory.
Speaker 4 00:53:33 Okay. I think I know what you’re referring to. Yay. Oh, but it was a really hard time in the first world the other day. Yep. That sounds like, yeah.
Speaker 0 00:53:54 Anyways. So black beard also known as Edward teach sometimes known in certain accounts as Edward. That shit, not a lot of people were writing and you know, English was weird back then people were like, yeah, I think this is what you mean. And they just kind of wrote down whatever
Speaker 4 00:54:15 I was going to say it where they just spelled things differently. There was no problem with like spelling words.
Speaker 0 00:54:20 Yeah. That’s like, depending on who’s saying it or whatever, it’s like misinterpret what they’re saying and yeah. Anyways, whatever. So it’s Edward teach sometimes known as Edward , but obviously he’s more famously known as black beard. Um, but he’s one example of a pirate who is actually a real person. Not much is known about his early life, but when, um, sorry, but he was one of many pirates that settled on new Providence Island in The Bahamas. Oh, okay. Yeah. Um, so between 16, 50 and 17, 20 was the quote golden age of piracy. My 1670 over 900 people occupied the settlement of Charles town in new Providence. Um, due to ineffective governors, Charles town was attacked by the French and Spanish navies and became a base for pirates, but it was eventually destroyed by a Spanish attack in 1684. And then two years later, uh, English colonists came from Jamaica and settled the Island again and rebuilt it again.
Speaker 4 00:55:27 Did they turn it back into a pirate port?
Speaker 0 00:55:30 This is just English colonists. So it’s like, it’s kind of, I don’t want to say it. There’ll be, they’re fighting over it basically. Okay. And so, and there’s not in there, you know, it’s a small Island and there’s not that many inhabitants, you know? So it’s like, then the English are coming in and they’re like, Oh, this is mine. And it’s like, well,
Speaker 4 00:55:50 That’s debatable.
Speaker 0 00:55:52 So in 1695, governor Nicholas trot rebuilt the town and added a Fort and renamed both the town and the Fort Nassau, which is what we know now. And The Bahamas, that was new information for me. I was like, Oh, And then in 1700, five years after the town was rebuilt and renamed, the Fort was heavily damaged in another Spanish attack. Right.
Speaker 4 00:56:17 Yeah. Yay. Yay. Yay. The
Speaker 0 00:56:24 Could be calling us eventually abandoned the Fort in 1703. After you guessed it, he had another French and Spanish attack. So it’s like, they’re just getting their asses beat out there and they don’t like it. And the Spanish and the French can’t really decide what’s going on because this was, um, just after King Charles, the second died since he died without any heirs that led to the war of the Spanish succession. And this was just part like kind of collateral damage in that war. Um, so they’re fighting over it, the English trying to come in and do whatever. Meanwhile, um, a bunch of sailors are really, uh, there’s a lot of unrest, so they’re defecting and seeking out a new life for themselves.
Speaker 4 00:57:13 Um, so I’m going to go
Speaker 0 00:57:17 Mini tangent because in my research,
Speaker 4 00:57:22 Huh? Charles town,
Speaker 0 00:57:24 I’m in new Providence. And then obviously it’s like, this is just after Charles the second died. And I’m thinking
Speaker 4 00:57:31 I’m like, is this the guy? Is this the guy
Speaker 0 00:57:37 That I know from history?
Speaker 4 00:57:38 Yeah. I was wondering that please continue.
Speaker 0 00:57:41 So King Charles, the second was also referred to as the B witched, um, which is believed to have been because of his appearance while there was no, like, there is actually no physical genetic proof of this because it was so long ago, but Charles the second was widely believed to be the most inbred Royal. Okay.
Speaker 4 00:58:02 Yes. That is who I was thinking of. Yes. He was part of the Habsburg dissenters. Have you ever seen what he looks like? Did you look him up? Oh, of course. Of course I stared at his portrait for hours. Honestly, the Habsburg jaw. That’s rough. Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:58:21 Yeah. That’s they named it? Yeah. They all suffered a lot of, uh, a lot of the Hapsburgs, uh, suffered from the Hapsburg job. Um, Charles, his parents were uncle and niece, so, uh, that made Charles their great nephew and first cousin once removed as well as their son.
Speaker 4 00:58:40 Um, not, not, not, not a cute look. Nope, no, no, no. Yeah.
Speaker 0 00:58:47 Um, so yeah, I mean, this wasn’t anything new for them. Obviously the same, like physical characteristic was shared throughout members of the family. Charles wasn’t anything special in that regard. I mean, they, it was just very common in the family. So, um,
Speaker 4 00:59:05 One
Speaker 0 00:59:05 Quote that I found from history in, uh, an article appropriately titled the dangers of Royal inbreeding was incestuous. Relationships had become so common in his dynasty. And for so long that by the time Charles, the second was born, he was more inbred than a child whose parents were brother and sister.
Speaker 6 00:59:29 Oh my God. That’s so disgusting. I mean, he’s a person. So I guess maybe he’s not disgusting, but that’s disgusting.
Speaker 0 00:59:38 It’s just the whole process. It’s the whole system is just really upsetting. This was, uh, by the way, two centuries of inbreeding their family, which is why this is like, Oh, for so long. And he’s more inbred than a child whose parents are brother and sister is because it was 200 years of like uncles marrying nieces and like, and the like, I dunno, man, but it’s just not, it’s not a good look. I’m not a good idea. Yeah. Not a good idea.
Speaker 6 01:00:11 Unless you want that classic giant chin. It makes me think he, his face looks like what you can imagine as the typical like cartoonish, which face with like the big nose.
Speaker 0 01:00:23 Yeah, yeah, yeah. He does. Uh, man, it’s from another nice, not, it’s not nice. Historians will. And Ariel Durant famously described him as short, lame epileptic, senile, and completely bald before 35, always on the verge of death, but repeatedly baffling, the Christian then by continuing to live.
Speaker 6 01:00:49 Oh my God. How old was he? When he died? He was like 38. Yeah. Rough.
Speaker 0 01:00:57 And of like the King Charles tangent. But I just like, his name came up so much when I was looking up stuff. And then I was like, Oh, this was all happening when he was King. And then I was like, Oh, he was K I know, I know him. Oh man. Yeah.
Speaker 6 01:01:13 That’s so funny because that’s exactly what I was wondering too. I’m glad you clarified that for me.
Speaker 0 01:01:18 Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So back to new Providence Island. Um, so due to basically everything that was going on new Providence just became a major Homebase for pirates by 1713, there were over a thousand pirates in Nassau outnumbering, the 400 to 500 like law abiding, you know, residents that were already there.
Speaker 6 01:01:43 I mean, if it’s, if it’s overrun with pirates, I don’t know. I just wonder how many of them just eventually converted to pirating piracy. That makes more sense. I was going to say pirate. TISM tiering. Yeah. That’s what I was gonna put it to too, but okay.
Speaker 0 01:02:01 That’s a real word. I don’t think, I don’t think so. I think it’s just piracy, but I’m glad that we came up with new words for it. Did I tell you I had a dream or no? Yeah. I had a dream that I was at work, but I wasn’t at work and that, um, my boss was leaving periodically to go paint a cat, like a portrait of a cat named pirates. That’s such a weird dream I at first, but it was a cat named pirates. How cute is that? That’s a great name for a cat. Isn’t it though. And I kept being like, where are they going? Like, we’re so busy and I have so many questions and I would find them in this like little room, like it was like a supply closet or something. And all that was in, there was just an easel with like a six by nine canvas, maybe smaller. They were painting a portrait of a cat named Terrance. And the cow was like wearing like a little, you know, like a, like a, it looks like the concierge, uh, shirt in or uniform in animal crossing. It’s like the cat was wearing that it’s just bust up, you know? And
Speaker 2 01:03:15 So kind of like Yachty’s fake portrait with his outfit. Yeah.
Speaker 0 01:03:21 That is fancy. Yeah. And it just said pirates across the top, but like, it looks like I did it. Like it didn’t look, it wasn’t as nice as Yachty’s anyways, I digress
Speaker 2 01:03:31 Once I get another cat because we both know what’s going to happen. Eventually I plan on getting a black cat named pirates.
Speaker 0 01:03:38 Nice. I approve that message. Okay. Right. Okay. So, uh, probably a lot of them did go into piracy, um, because of everything that was going on at the time, a lot of sailors were getting fed up with their treatment wages being caught up in a war, basically as collateral damage. And at this point, um, a decent amount of them were defecting and making a life for themselves in The Bahamas, as well as other islands throughout the Caribbean, um, Madagascar, which I know is not in the Caribbean, but it’s another place that they were, uh, uh, they were active the colonies obviously. Um, and basically, you know, a lot of other locations that largely coincided with the transatlantic slave trade, which is not something that’s mentioned when we talk about pirates and it’s heavily romanticized and I’m like, okay, but these are real people that literally looked at the situation and they’re like, I’m really mad because I’m being forced to work on this ship where I’m trafficking people and I, and I’m not getting paid enough. And, and I feel like I’m being held captive here on the ship and I’m like, wow, you really can’t see the irony in your situation here. Can you, and then they literally leave that situation and they’re like, I’m done with this. And then they turn around and they’re like, now, how can I make this worse?
Speaker 0 01:05:02 How can I just like, literally do whatever I want and buy whatever I want. I mean like murderer and like Robin pillage, a bunch of fucking people, you know, and torture them and other things, you know, it’s like these people were, um, notorious for a reason, you know, infinite, like people, you know, I’m just saying it’s, it’s, it’s heavily romanticized. And I didn’t really like ever look into it until now. And I’m kind of like, meesh all right.
Speaker 6 01:05:30 I don’t know. I’m feeling some kind of way about having a pirate tap too. Yeah. Well, she’s fine.
Speaker 0 01:05:35 Rose is fine. She’s on your arm and you know, she’s not going anywhere.
Speaker 6 01:05:41 She’s not doing anything. She’s just like my, my inspirational lady tattoo. I don’t know.
Speaker 0 01:05:51 You’re a free spirit. And so is Shea. Yeah. Okay. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to bash pirates altogether.
Speaker 6 01:06:04 Okay. Well, to defend myself from your allegations of romanticizing pirates, um,
Speaker 0 01:06:13 I mean, I’m not aiming them anywhere.
Speaker 6 01:06:15 She’s aiming them directly at my heart guys.
Speaker 0 01:06:19 Oh no. I’m like, what’s his name? Is it Cyclops? What’s his name? The X-Men dude. Yeah. Psych hops. It is psych labs. The re straight to my heart. Yeah. I’m just lifting up my sunglasses and go.
Speaker 6 01:06:34 So in my defense, my tattoo is my version of a Heinrich clay illustration Heinrich. Clay is a famous illustrator that I learned about at art school. And he did a pirate illustration, which I really liked. And then I did my version of a lady and she was the, you know, inspirational, independent woman, new raw, I guess, tattoo era. That’s probably not right. I don’t know. I’m not in the Marines. Well, I didn’t want to sound like she’s in the Marines cause she’s not in the Marines either.
Speaker 0 01:07:09 Yeah. But she’s a Marine lady.
Speaker 6 01:07:12 I mean, technically she’s an arm lady because that’s where she’s always excited.
Speaker 0 01:07:19 Yeah. We, everybody knows how we feel about bodies of water, roses, roses on board with us. All right. She’s not walking the plank just yet. Um, anyways, so, okay. So back to black beard, I guess. Um, yeah, so him and his crews ran, uh, operations out of the port of Charles town in South Carolina, which is now known as Charleston. Yeah. It was at that point that I was like, Hmm. I, there’s not a Charles around here. Yeah. Yeah. There’s like so much shit named after him. And I kinda, I kinda want, wanna know why now, so yeah. So a lot of these people who, Oh, yeah, sorry. Back to his operations. So by, uh, ran operations out of Charleston, I mean blockaded the port and ransom debts and habitats. So really that’s another thing is like people might’ve and become pirates, but it’s like, they are being occupied by pirates on new Providence Island.
Speaker 0 01:08:21 So it’s not so much as like defecting. It’s like, how are you going to survive and deal with the situation? And then you have assholes, like Blackbeard’s showing up and just like shutting everything down. Yeah. And ransoming the people like, are you kidding? And I’m sure that is the lightest way that they’re putting that. I’m sure other weird nasty shit was going on behind the scenes. It’s just anyways. So a lot of pirates, uh, basically were defective of the British Navy yeah. So they’re basically desensitized to the horrors of everything that was going on in the world, I guess, too.
Speaker 6 01:09:03 She said horrors not, I heard horse first, so I know somebody else did. And I needed to clarify for everyone,
Speaker 0 01:09:12 You know, weirdly I feel like all the pirates that ever existed, like in unison were offended that you even heard that I pirate. Yeah. No, like we’re not desensitized to the whores and I’m in there, like shut up
Speaker 6 01:09:31 Back in that trunk with all that Aztec gold guy, wrong, calm down
Speaker 0 01:09:37 Guy. I don’t see no full moon yet chill out. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, yeah. I mean, piracy just kind of feels like this weird, like treat yourself moment in history and
Speaker 6 01:09:50 Truly felt everything terrible
Speaker 0 01:09:51 And horrible. It’s like, it’s like in fable when they’re like, do you want to be good? Do you want to be evil? And it’s like, piracy is like,
Speaker 6 01:10:01 It’s just okay.
Speaker 0 01:10:04 Basically the most, uh, treat yourself pirate of all was Henry every AKA, the King of the pirates. So, um, he was also known as like Henry Avery in some accounts, um, and had aliases, such as John Avery long Ben and Benjamin Bridgeman.
Speaker 6 01:10:24 It’s already long, been long been, you know, I just had a problem with nicknames like that. Like, you know, in parts of the Caribbean. And they’re like, yeah, they called him bootstrap, bill Turner, who the fuck comes up with a nickname like that. It was a dumb ass nickname.
Speaker 0 01:10:42 He got his fucking bootstraps caught in something one day. Just like when Ryan said the cheese pita on fire and they called him fire guy
Speaker 6 01:10:52 So long, Ben,
Speaker 0 01:10:55 We don’t need to go into it. I don’t know which part of him is long
Speaker 6 01:10:59 Stop. Why would you buy? You said we don’t need to go into it.
Speaker 0 01:11:02 I have no idea if he’s tall. I don’t know if he has like one arm that’s longer than the other, that like a pathologist one day is like, Hm,
Speaker 6 01:11:10 God just has stored in their yeah, probably.
Speaker 4 01:11:14 Yeah,
Speaker 0 01:11:14 Exactly. It’s like, we don’t know. Maybe he has one long toe. Some people have one long toe.
Speaker 4 01:11:20 Do you have one long tow? Is that what I’m inferring Nazi. Yes. Sure. Yeah. We all do
Speaker 0 01:11:58 So as I’m sure we all knew and assumed already from my previous rents. Um, every began his seafaring career with the British Royal Navy and moved on to work on quote, unlicensed, slave ships in the transatlantic slave, slave trade from there.
Speaker 4 01:12:18 What makes it unlicensed?
Speaker 0 01:12:20 I don’t know. I guess there were official slave ships and then there are people that were like, yeah, we can do this on the side. Um, sometime in the early 1690s, he began working on a ship name
Speaker 4 01:12:36 February
Speaker 0 01:12:37 Charles, the second or Charles two. I read it as Charles too. I’m like it’s Charles too. Um, okay. So Charles, the second, uh, was a, is now in this section of the story, eight 46 guns Spanish ship that had licensed to attack French smugglers around Martinique as part of the Spanish, Spanish expedition shipping expedition.
Speaker 4 01:13:07 How does a dumb ass name please? Can you
Speaker 0 01:13:11 Actually, what it was called? They kind of Spanish expedition shipping, but it wasn’t expedition. So there’s like, Oh, it’s the Spanish expedition shipping expedition. And I was like, why wouldn’t you just say Spanish shipping expedition? So I’m going to abbreviate it to SES. So that way we don’t have to super set.
Speaker 4 01:13:31 Um,
Speaker 0 01:13:34 Otherwise it’s going to drive me crazy. Yep. Okay. So the SES was an English expedition commissioned by the Spanish, which consisted of four warships. One of them obviously being Charles the second hashtag Charles to Charles T by early August, 1963, before warships were sailing down the river Thames on their way to Spanish. Spain’s Northern city of Karuna or Corona. I know it’s a, it’s, it’s a triggering word right now, but that’s it’s C O R E N N a. I’m trying to give anyone Chihuahua
Speaker 2 01:14:14 Chihuahua right now. Yeah.
Speaker 0 01:14:16 Okay. So, um, yeah, so they’re on their way to Corona coroner that none of this sounds nice. Um, I’m so sorry. And the four ships were commanded by Admiral cert on Arturo O’Byrne. So Donald Toro, Bern Barra is an Irish nobleman who had previously served in the Spanish Navy Marines. The journey to Corona should have taken, should have taken. I don’t know why I’m talking like a robot should have taken two weeks. Okay. Um, but for some reason the ships didn’t arrive in Spain until five months later. Oh, I like how it’s just like, for some reason. Um, so even there was no clarification on that. Not really. They’re just like, this is a really, it was just led into as this mysterious thing that happened, but nobody knew why not specifically, but after, like, after it had already taken them five months to get there, um, apparently the necessary documents that they were supposed to have for trade or whatever shenanigans they were up to had apparently failed to arrive from Madrid. So the ships were forced to wait in the port of Corona instead of carrying on their, you know,
Speaker 2 01:15:37 Merry way. Yeah.
Speaker 0 01:15:39 Pillaging and plundering the French, probably because that’s what they were literally commissioned to do.
Speaker 2 01:15:44 So how long were they trapped there for?
Speaker 0 01:15:47 Well, for awhile, honestly. I mean, I think they, so it took them like five months to get there weirdly from not very far away. And then, um, after a few months in port, so I would say maybe like probably like three months, maybe two months, not a couple, like, you know, so, but we’re talking, this is almost a year of fear. Yeah.
Speaker 2 01:16:14 Yeah. And it was supposed to be a two week trip two week.
Speaker 0 01:16:17 You’re there you boom, big bang, boom, go somewhere else. Be boop. I’m done. Um, after a few months import the men petition their captain for the pay that they should have received since their employment began. And if this request was granted, the men would no longer have been tied to the ship. They could have easily left, but obviously the petition was ignored. Um, the sailor’s wives went and sent a similar petition to serve James who blonde in England, who was one of the expedition’s main investors. And he also denied their petition. Um, so at this point it’s like in their mind they tried to handle it nicely. They’re like
Speaker 2 01:17:03 They did the things that they were supposed to do. I
Speaker 0 01:17:05 Used my one piece of paper and my one ink Quill to write you this petition. And that’s all I had. Um, I don’t know if that’s true or not, but that’s basically, they were like, we tried to, we tried to ask nicely. Um, but at this point also a lot of the sailors apparently believed that they were being sold into slavery into the Spanish. And uh, either way really, they had become virtual prisoners in Corona. They’re just stuck in the port. They’re stuck on the ship. No one’s letting them have any understanding of what’s going on. They’re not getting paid because they’re not making money because they’re stuck at the port. It’s just like this whole weird vicious circle. Um, but sometime during all of that, Henry, every who was on the Charles with these fleet of four ships going through, this was promoted to first mate of the Charles.
Speaker 0 01:18:01 Um, and the crew looked to him as a leader. He was very respected by them. He had worked up in the ranks over the years. And so he was seen as one of them. Um, now, as you can imagine, after all this time being stuck in the port, unable to leave the ship, get paid, continue on their journey. Obviously the sailors are getting desperate. Um, as the fleet was finally preparing to leave Corona, the men decided that they demanded their six months of pay or threatened to strike. Um, so it’s like, they’re getting ready to go. But at this point they’re past their breaking point and they’re like, we’re going to be done. Uh, so give us our money or else basically. Um, so you could say that Sarah blonde or who blonde was, uh, disinclined to acquiesce
Speaker 2 01:18:51 Request,
Speaker 0 01:18:55 But the Admiral of the fleet like saw the seriousness of the situation and how tense everything was. And so he wrote to England as well and asked, but that wasn’t good enough for them. And it wasn’t good enough for every, he began to go ship to ship, persuading men, to follow him and carry out his plan to take over the ship, telling them he would carry them where they should get enough money, because you have to understand, like also at this point, a lot of these men had worked for other navies or on other ships. They know what’s going on out there on the seas. They know where people are going to and coming from. Amen. And you know, it’s like
Speaker 2 01:19:38 The ones that are, that are out there actually making the connections and stuff. Not, not the people in charge.
Speaker 0 01:19:45 Yeah. I can’t think of the name of it right now, but you know, those, it’s not an NDA, there’s like another kind of agreement, confidentiality agreement maybe, but there’s like, you know, agreements that you have to sign at certain jobs where they’re like, you can’t do another job in this field for this amount of time after leaving. And I feel like that started here
Speaker 4 01:20:10 Makes sense.
Speaker 0 01:20:11 This is like the worst version of the Michael Scott paper company.
Speaker 4 01:20:18 I mean, yeah.
Speaker 0 01:20:19 Anyways, um, cause yeah, cause he had a great deal of experience and um, since he did have a lot of experience and was born in the social rank, a little, uh, a lower social rank, he was the natural choice to command the mutiny. Um, cause obviously the crew believed that he had their best interest at heart. So about a week later after they were demanding and threatening strike, every began organizing the mutiny with the crew. Um, when Admiral Auburn was scheduled to sleep, uh, shore one night, him and his crew use this as their golden opportunity to just get him. Um, so him and a group of 25 men waited until nightfall on rush to board, the Charles to catching the onboard crew by surprise. Obviously the captain of the Charles to captain Gibson was asleep at the time. So the meeting, he actually succeeded without any violence or bloodshed.
Speaker 6 01:21:23 Wow. That’s surprising. Yes.
Speaker 0 01:21:26 Um, it is very surprising and like, so along boat from another ship in the fleet, the James is said to have come alongside the Charles to when the muni was going down and used a secret message asking is the drunken boatswain on board, which was there. I don’t know if that’s how you say that, but was there like signal that the mission had been carried out, carried out successfully? Yeah. And um, you know, they receive confirmation and they jumped board the crew
Speaker 4 01:22:01 And they’re like, yeah, we’re going to take over the ship. And captain
Speaker 0 01:22:04 Humphreys of the James, like reportedly called out to every, to warn him that the men were deserted the crew and every jus is said to have simply responded with
Speaker 4 01:22:16 No,
Speaker 0 01:22:19 Mine’s me of like Jyzelle in the little boat and he’s
Speaker 4 01:22:25 Take eight, the ship taking the dog. Oh yeah.
Speaker 6 01:22:30 I gotta be the best pirate I’ve ever seen. So it would seem
Speaker 0 01:22:36 That I say that all the time and I hope
Speaker 4 01:22:38 I always forget what it’s from. So no, it’s fine.
Speaker 6 01:22:42 Oh, their ice cream cone, sir. Ice cream cone Commodore Norrington no, no. I want to watch that movie again. I know.
Speaker 0 01:22:52 Okay. So, um, after that, till I from response from every captain Humphries or did the James to fire the Charles to forcing them to sail out of the port and into the night. So they sailed out far enough to be safe from the port, but still close enough to shore to let those like non conspirators to like swim go is shore if they choose. Yeah. Um, so like they described this, which I think is interesting of every they’re like he’s a reasonable guy, you know, he just wants to get paid, you know, he’s just trying to help out his crew and their details
Speaker 2 01:23:32 Sounds like a manipulative guy.
Speaker 0 01:23:35 Yeah. That much I can definitely agree with, but it’s like, it’s, he’s painted in this weird light at first and it’s like, Hmm. And the only person they did take like one person captive in that was the ship surgeon
Speaker 7 01:23:48 Smart. Yeah.
Speaker 0 01:23:52 Can I, yeah. Can, are you really there? I’m like, I bet you they’re going to need one of those friendships are weird. Yeah.
Speaker 2 01:23:58 And the ocean GAF, but they didn’t have a pathology lab on board. You know,
Speaker 0 01:24:03 The unfortunate thing is they probably did. They probably just didn’t call it a pathology lab.
Speaker 2 01:24:08 They probably called it like the arm Bay or some shit like 10 something.
Speaker 0 01:24:16 So yeah, they took the S the ship’s surgeon and captive. And now funnily enough, you know, their original mission for their expedition was very similar to being a pirate. You know, they’re basically the Spanish is like passing them some money under the table. And they’re like, yo, if y’all go over here and just like park with these French people really appreciate it. Hint, hint, wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Here’s a $20 bill. And they’re, that’s their goal. It’s like, they are already, they’re paying them to literally be what we now like, think of as pirates. So it wasn’t hard for every to like, convince everybody like, Hey, why don’t we just do this for ourselves?
Speaker 2 01:25:04 Yeah. Since we were already going to do it anyways, exactly. Out of it benefiting the Lords and the, you know, the rich people they’re benefiting themselves. Yeah.
Speaker 0 01:25:14 Yeah. So it’s like in a weird way. That’s not super. Yeah.
Speaker 2 01:25:20 It wasn’t a direct, yeah. I was going to say it, wasn’t such a hard leap for them to make exactly already going to do it, but it was going to benefit them. So why don’t we just do it and benefit us exactly. Better ourselves.
Speaker 0 01:25:33 So obviously, like I said, they were so desperate to make a living conveniently happened, to have all of this knowledge of like major shipping routes and trade that was happening at the time. And they were trained by the British Royal Navy. So they knew what the fuck they were doing. Okay. When you talk about infrastructure, it’s like, they really knew how to do it. They’re just like, Oh, we’re going to like do this privately. And we’re also going to fuck with everybody because we can now, because what we’re doing everyone. Cause we
Speaker 4 01:26:04 Got fucked. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 0 01:26:06 Obviously, you know, they took the Charles too. So they like grand theft auto mode, this British Royal Navy ship, you know, they just grand theft shipped it.
Speaker 4 01:26:16 I was like, is it grant I’ve left navels? Nope. Don’t like that. Just kidding. I don’t like it either. Um,
Speaker 0 01:26:26 Anyways, they stole a ship that was commissioned by the Spanish. So like at this point already before he’s like, guys, this is how we move forward. There’s no turning back. You know, you’ve pissed off two governments at the same time. And it’s like, at this point, things were on the brink of war, but he hadn’t Charles. The second hadn’t actually died yet. And you know, it’s just, there’s this contentious energy there anyways
Speaker 4 01:26:50 Called a powder keg. Exactly.
Speaker 0 01:26:53 So what do you think you do when you get your first pirate ship? What do you think? The first thing that you do is,
Speaker 4 01:27:02 Uh, roll around in a bunch of gold coins.
Speaker 0 01:27:05 No, no. You just got your first pirate ship. You haven’t done any pirating it, you just come and dude one,
Speaker 4 01:27:12 You just, uh, you drink a lot of rum.
Speaker 0 01:27:16 No. That’s if you get marooned, the first thing you do when you pirate a new pirate ship is you get to name your new pirate ship. Oh yeah. That makes sense. Okay. So with a name like Charles, a second slash Charles T the, uh, Porsche was obviously begging for a fresh start and Henry every sense this obviously, um, you know, she was a nice shit and, uh, Henry uh, thought that she looked real fancy.
Speaker 4 01:27:46 Oh my God, wait, what’s the name? That’s what he named her. That’s just one word. Fancy like Prince or Cher. Oh my God. Why did, why were they so bad at naming things?
Speaker 0 01:28:02 They were, Oh my God, I’ve got more power than the pirate ship names. I swear to God. No, I don’t even know. But fancy. That’s all. I think Charles T was a little better than fancy, but out fancy. All right.
Speaker 4 01:28:16 Let’s go get a board. The fancy like that.
Speaker 0 01:28:19 Yeah. And like to be the King of pirates, fancy,
Speaker 4 01:28:24 I know at least the black Pearl sounds like beautiful yet ominous, but this like the fancy.
Speaker 0 01:28:32 Yeah. So from then on the ship was named fancy. Um, also every school career as a pirate just took off. Obviously he was literally trained to be a pirate by the military and much like an Irish farmer. He was outstanding in his own field.
Speaker 4 01:28:54 I really liked that good job that was just for you and everyone else who enjoyed it. Haters
Speaker 0 01:29:02 Gonna hate anyways, for me, it’s fun. It’s a really just for you. So all of this, uh, you know, mutiny and stealing ship and everything happened is happening in like the end or like, all right, what’s happening around like 60, 93 or 60 94. I think when they left to go to Corona, it was like 60, 93. By the time this is happening, obviously like this has been like a year later. So then he was starting his prior career in 60 94. So my 60, 95 a year after he became a pirate, every, um, I had stripped away some of like the superstructure of the ship, which made it one of the fastest vessels sailing the Atlantic at the time, Nikon, catchable. I was going to say, so for comparison, the Charles too, you know, it was the power in those waters shore enough, but none can match the fancy for speed. Or of course, I’m sorry. It’s just, but none can match fancy. Alright. So about a year after he like was, um, indoctrinated into the world of piracy, I suppose,
Speaker 2 01:30:22 Was he really indoctrinated? Because I feel like there has to be doctrine and rules for you to be indoctrinated converted.
Speaker 0 01:30:30 Yes. Converted a year after he combined,
Speaker 2 01:30:35 He, he, Anna morphed into a pirate.
Speaker 0 01:30:39 Um, yeah. So about a year after he and a morphed into a pirate, he had already gotten fancy to be the fastest he fast and furious her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Souped her up. All right. And then he also got a crew of 150 men and he had his sights set on a fleet that was said to be near the Island of Purim, which, uh, was reported to be the richest fleet in Asia, perhaps in the entire world. It was believed that any pirates who managed to capture it would have been the perpetrators of the world’s most profitable, profitable pirate raid.
Speaker 2 01:31:18 So was that all true or was it just their imagination?
Speaker 0 01:31:22 This was how he got his crew. And what his goal was. He had a mood board about it, a vision board, if you will. That’s really the word that I’m looking for. Yeah.
Speaker 2 01:31:32 I manifested it, you know,
Speaker 0 01:31:35 No, he definitely manifested it. Um, so the fleet that him and his group were seeking out were the ships of the Muslim Mughal empire, which was one of the richest empires in the world at the time. Um, Surat was the wealthiest port in the seven in 17th century India. And at 1600 tons, the guns you sway, meaning infinite treasure. Um, but it was the largest armed Magus ship in the port of Surat.
Speaker 3 01:32:05 Not only was
Speaker 0 01:32:07 The ship, the largest trading ship, but the gun just sway was designed to bring pilgrims to Mecca and was able to carry over 600 passengers. Oh, wow. That’s a lot of people. Yes. So it was designated to bring trade from India and to protect all of the people and their profits in the process. It was also armed with 80 cannons and a 400 man guard.
Speaker 2 01:32:37 So still the more civilians then more
Speaker 0 01:32:41 Billions then guard. But it’s like, you have to think about this giant ship with the capacity to hold up these things. Like, it’s not just the people, you know, that you’re having on the ship. It’s also like the, the armed aspect. Okay. And then pile on top of that, that this ship is being used for trade. Like this is a huge ship for the time period, you know? Um, and, uh, yeah, so the ship traveled in a convoy of 25 grand muggle ships, including, uh, another ship, which was 600 tons called Fati Muhammad, which had belonged to Abdul Ghafar, who was Serrat’s wealthiest merchant at the time.
Speaker 2 01:33:25 It was definitely a treasure trove for pirates. Yeah.
Speaker 0 01:33:30 Yeah. Um, and this was a massive undertaking for every in his plan here really is to just to get the most he can for him and his crew, like at a one-stop shop, obviously. Um, Obviously it’s also highly problematic because he’s not only targeting a major contributor to the Indian economy, but a religious pilgrimage putting innocent people in danger. Yeah. Yeah. So to accomplish this raid, every teamed up with five other pirate captains, and here is the list of the pirate captains and the names of their ships. Are you ready? I’m so ready. Okay. Two on the slope of warship called Amity and yes, his name is too. Oh,
Speaker 2 01:34:20 That was the name I thought you were saying to people.
Speaker 0 01:34:23 I knew you would. That’s why I had to say it. We’re now. Okay. Yes. So two on
Speaker 2 01:34:28 The Amityville ship,
Speaker 0 01:34:31 Basically Joseph farro on the Portsmith adventure.
Speaker 2 01:34:34 Sure. That sounds like a Disney ride. Continue. Does it does.
Speaker 0 01:34:39 Um, yeah. Richard want on the dolphin.
Speaker 2 01:34:45 Okay. I feel like he might’ve been on a lot of drugs when he named that
Speaker 3 01:34:52 Or maybe he just saw it often. Yeah.
Speaker 0 01:34:54 Um, William Mays, AKA, he’s also known as William May and it’s confusing because I think there was a William May or may is on their ship. And there was a lot of like, there’s a couple of articles that were like, no, no, no, not the William Mays. The captain there’s also was another guy named William Mays, like there’s captain William mains. And then there’s just, there’s this guy too,
Speaker 6 01:35:17 Which
Speaker 0 01:35:17 They give the, give the other guy, like a nickname or something, but yet he was on the
Speaker 6 01:35:21 Pearl. Oh, Hey. Yeah. Yeah. That’s a good name. Yeah. If only it were black anyways,
Speaker 0 01:35:30 Anyways. Um, and then there’s Thomas wake on the Susanna. Probably an X. Okay. Yeah. So we got Anthony Portsmith, adventure, dolphin, Pearl, Susanna, and fancy. So despite to a captain of the Amity, having more experience, you know, dishing it out on the high seas than every did. Um, obviously every single you’ve been at it for a year now, when you think about it and how long it takes to actually set up from place to place, like that’s not that long as much. Yeah. Yeah. So they still voted for every to be Admiral of the flotilla. So he was in charge of everybody, but so he went from his 150 person crew who he was like, I needed to get the biggest treasure I can. So that way we all make bank. And now he’s up to 440 crew members between the six vessels,
Speaker 6 01:36:26 Which is more than the guard on that one ship.
Speaker 0 01:36:30 Just barely. But yeah. But yeah, I mean, but it’s also, when you think about the division of the treasurer, so to speak, um, they are, or the assets or whatever, you know, now it’s even,
Speaker 6 01:36:48 It’s less, even less. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so
Speaker 0 01:36:54 They had spotted the convoy of the 25 grand muggle ships on route to Surat. And that’s when they began to put their plan in action. Um, the pirate fleet that will every lead, pursued the convoy, the Amedee and the dolphin were lost in the pursuit. But about four days later, uh, pirates, aboard, fancy Portsmouth venture, and Susanna caught up with Fazzi Mohammad, which is the smaller arm ship. Um,
Speaker 6 01:37:23 Oh, what happened? Wait. So what happened to the other two ships? They just disappeared on accident.
Speaker 0 01:37:28 They had issues. Um, I think the Amany was attacked. And so some of the crew like survived and joined the other ships and the dolphin was just so slow that they left it behind that they literally ditched it. They were like, no, everybody else come on these ships and fuck that shepherd. Just gonna leave that there
Speaker 6 01:37:50 Should have been named the tortoise
Speaker 0 01:37:52 Really should have, or, I mean, a slow. Yeah. So, so yeah, so the three ship or sorry, the four ships caught up to Fatah, Mohamed and Fatah Mohammed’s crew put up a little resistance. Um, they had already had a confrontation with the Amedee. Um, so, and every pirates were able to, uh, sack the ship. Really the fortune that they recovered from Fatah Muhammad was enough to buy fancy 50 times over. But since you’re splitting it equally amongst the entire crew, they were still desperate for a bigger payout. So now they turn their attention to guns sway. And at this point there are two ships down the Amity and the dolphin. Uh, they’re also down crew members as well after the confrontation with the Amity. And obviously you mentioned the 400 man crew and they had 80 cannons that was on this one ship and they’re also carrying 600 civilians home from Mecca. So they were outnumbered by a lot, mostly by civilians, but still, you know, this is a gamble, you know,
Speaker 2 01:39:09 They’re just in their ruthless and desperate. Yep.
Speaker 0 01:39:13 Um, every open fire from fancy on the ganja suede and with a lucky shot took down the ship’s main mast. So the ganja sway was unable to escape, fancy drew alongside it, um, for a moment. Yeah. For a moment, they had a sort of volley of the musket fire, which prevented the pirates from climbing a board, but then one of goddess ways cannons exploded. So not only did they get a lucky shot with the mass, but then one of the canons exploded instantly killing many of their crew. Um, obviously demoralizing than they had to go down and start, uh, put out fires. And so like, they are just like, Holy shit. And we’re getting attacked. Like a lot of them are just freaking out and, um, it’s anyways, I’m not, I’m just saying it’s a, it’s a crazy scene that’s happening. Plus every of these men are like trying to attack the ship. I was just really fortunate how that played out.
Speaker 2 01:40:15 So it’s so crazy when like literal coincidences play that much into history. I don’t know. I always think about that kind of stuff where it’s like, if they had just shot, like, you know, a little bit to the left or a little bit to the right, they wouldn’t have knocked it. Maybe they could have gotten away, you know? Yeah,
Speaker 0 01:40:34 Yeah. It’s crazy. Um, but yeah, they, so they obviously like took advantage of like all of the confusion and everything that was going on quickly scaled, gorgeous waist sides, you know, of the ship. And then, so, and also, so this is just the crew that was on the fancy, the is like chilling and was hesitant to join the crew on deck. But once the, once they started boarding, then the Pearl started going over to, you know, however way they do that with their ropes or whatever, pulling alongside, they started, uh, climbing onto the ship as well. So then it’s what I would just said. Like, I’m just going to read this little quote, a ferocious hand-to-hand battle that ensued lasting two to three hours. So this was like a, for real battle.
Speaker 6 01:41:26 It’s a tiring ass battle too.
Speaker 0 01:41:29 And there’s a fuck ton of people on one boat. According to Muhammad, has she coffee con coffee con I’m probably saying that wrong. So coffee con is a contemporary Indian historian who was in Surat at the time. And, uh, here’s a couple of quotes as the Victoria’s pirates, subjected their captives to an orgy of horror that lasted several days.
Speaker 6 01:41:58 No, I don’t like any of those words. We are not going to like this next bit. Okay, great. I’m really glad I tortured you with anal warts before
Speaker 0 01:42:09 I deserve that mention of yes. So I’m there on the ship for several days raping and killing their terrified prisoners, um, deck by deck, by deck. Yes. Um, supposedly this was all in an effort and I’m sorry. Um, supposedly this was all in an effort to find out where the treasure was hidden on the ship. So they were trying to basically torture everyone they could. So that way they could get all of the money off the ship. Again, they’re terrible people like this is,
Speaker 6 01:42:38 I was going to say civilians, aren’t kind of know that shit.
Speaker 0 01:42:42 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, the majority of the people on that ship had no information to give and were subject to this horrific attack. Um, some yeah, no, not joy. The opposite of that, actually. You’re probably not gonna like this and I would hope not, but also it’s just more bad. And then I’m going to get, and then we’re going to be done. The, some of the Muslim women committed suicide to avoid violation and those who didn’t kill themselves or die from being tortured by the pirates were taken captive, aboard fancy
Speaker 6 01:43:22 For how long they used for taken.
Speaker 0 01:43:27 They did. They said that they left some people on the ship, but some people they just took, um, which is interesting later, this isn’t 60 95. So this is like escalated very quickly with every and um, the governor of bomb Bay. Uh, sir, John Geyer, who was president of the East India sent a letter on October 12th to the Lords of trade writing. It is certain the pirates, which these people affirm were all English did do very barbarian, mostly by the people of the gorgeous way and Abdul GForce ship to make them confess where the money was. So this is just like, I don’t like evidence that someone is like, yes, this happened. And these were English people, and this is a terrible thing that they’ve done. So the amount that they stole from the ganja sway total between 200,000 and 600,000 pounds, including 500,000 golden silver pieces
Speaker 6 01:44:37 Now. So that’s, that’s an back then money.
Speaker 0 01:44:40 Yes. I tried to find a converter to compare how much that would be today. Um, but I could only find one from about 1750. So it is it’s close, um, a hundred pounds in 1750. So a hundred pounds is about 22,000 pounds,
Speaker 6 01:45:00 Which is about $45,000.
Speaker 0 01:45:03 Yes. So that their hall today would be about 138 million pounds or $275 million. Oh yeah. It’s a huge deal. This is a huge shame, huge deal. And I think maybe I’m not stressing that enough. This is such a big deal. Like that was, um, major, major trade route for India. That was their big thing. They were like, we have a good system. We take our people there, we trade there, we take our people back. Like they had a good system. Yeah. So this incident almost ended their colonization. They colonization. Yeah. But like they, that didn’t, that wasn’t over until 150 years after this event. And this almost ended it, this one situation, and it’s just this one dude who just escalates and escalates and escalates, you know, it’s like, he gets all these people, they take a ship and they’re like, yeah, cool. We took a ship that let’s go with other ships and let’s try to get the most money that we could ever get.
Speaker 6 01:46:24 Okay. Not, not to sound like terrible, but like, I feel like most terrible things start with, it’s just this one, dude.
Speaker 0 01:46:33 No, that is exactly how most things start with. It’s just, it’s so crazy what people are capable of in every sense of that.
Speaker 6 01:46:41 And people fail to see how like, it affects like, like you’re saying like global politics. Cause not only is it messing with so
Speaker 2 01:46:50 Much, I was going to say, because not only is it messing with English, his piracy is messing with England and Spain, and then I’m assuming they probably didn’t have problems, you know, going after the French either. And then these are English citizens going to India and killing and torturing and stealing. Yeah. A bunch.
Speaker 0 01:47:11 Yeah. This was basically seen as like the first like terrorist attack. I want to say like an attack from like, uh, an organized group. That’s not affiliated like with a specific government and this was such a big deal. The whole, that whole thing, if for people have seen black flags, that first frame where it says that, uh, pirates were declared enemies of the human race. Okay. That was because of Henry every parliament declared that. Yeah. Parliament declared the, let me see. Yeah, because they were about to get kicked out of India. Literally emperor orang Zeb was about what closed four of the East India trading companies, factories in England and in prison, the officers nearly ordered an armed attack against the English city of Bombay with the goal of forever expelling the English from India because of this attack, like when news of this made back like made its way back to Surat, like this was a SAC religious act.
Speaker 0 01:48:20 This was considered an unveil forgivable violation of the hive. Like this news spread so quickly. And the East India trading company had seen, um, uh, like a total annual is their total annual imports, like dropped from 800,000 pounds in 1684 to 30,000 pounds in 1695. And his attack threatened all of that, like 30,000 pounds. That’s nothing. And I mean, obviously converter wise to kind of have to go back to that and do some multiplication in there. But it’s like from 800,000 down to 30,000, like that’s a crash right there. And he was right there at the right time. This literally was such a big deal. And that’s my point. I think it’s like
Speaker 2 01:49:13 Going from 800,000 to 30,000, 30,000 is 3.7, 5% of that income. Wow. Yeah. Sorry. That’s what I was on my phone. Cause I wanted to do the math. Yeah. Cause that’s intense. That’s a huge, that’s a huge loss. And then we’re not like, and then that’s excluding the like, you know, loss of human life and all that fun stuff too
Speaker 0 01:49:35 There. I didn’t read anything specifically. That was like, this was the world’s like first wreck. This is the first globally recognized terrorist attack because obviously they didn’t have that verbiage back then, but this is how they treated. So to, to appease emperor are exempt. Like that’s when parliament declared pirates Holsteins Tumani Jenner is, or I don’t know how to speak Latin or enemies of the human race. Like they did that because they’re like, they’re, I’m sorry they were English. But like, that’s not us. Like these are terrorists. I’m sorry. Like that’s another way of saying terrorists, but you know, it’s just this, the uh, every was the subject of the first worldwide manhunt. Oh, interesting. Yep. And so, and the East India trading company, the reward that they had set for him was a 500 pound bounty, which would have been about, uh, 250, like a quarter of a million dollars a head.
Speaker 0 01:50:40 And then they upped it to half a million dollars or a hundred thousand pounds at the time. Uh, because they really wanted to get him, um, the, you know, the crown, it just says the crown, but it’s like, obviously we know who that is. English the angle. Yeah. The crown, I love Charles the second whoever else. And then it’s like the crown, whoever I don’t, but I didn’t look it up. I don’t know who was ruling at the time. Sorry. All right. So, um, every was nearly captured a year later or a few years later in Jamaica or near Jamaica. Um, but he escaped before he could be caught and tried his crew and him was never seen or heard from again, but they are like legit. This is the, they were declared like the richest pirates of all time. Like this was insane. Obviously could have brought down two different economies.
Speaker 0 01:51:41 So once, and um, it said that each man is said to receive half a thousand pounds from this loot, which would be half a million dollars. And so that’s like for 500 people or so probably like 400 people involved in that. And they’re all walking away with half a million dollars. So that’s a pretty big deal back then, like, Whoa, I mean, it’s just, yeah. It’s like, that is a pretty big deal. Um, obviously it was more money than any of them could’ve hoped to make in their lifetime as a sailor. Um, yeah, that’s true. But obviously, you know, now they’re wanted,
Speaker 6 01:52:21 I was going to say it. So you said that the crew, and he was never heard from again, like how did they do that? They just, they just
Speaker 0 01:52:29 Scattered like rats, you know, they just went into their, into their little holes. Um,
Speaker 6 01:52:37 It would be so interesting to find out like who was able to like build, you know, empires or companies
Speaker 2 01:52:46 Or whatever based off of that money.
Speaker 0 01:52:48 Yo, that is some real, that is some real talk right there. Right. I didn’t even think about that. Oh,
Speaker 2 01:52:56 That was totally where my mind went.
Speaker 0 01:52:59 Yeah. No, because several names, several a sale to the North American colonies and you know, it’s like said that they bribed the governor of Pennsylvania first protection. So I find that interesting because this was like 1696 and they’re bribing the governor of Pennsylvania. So now that you mentioned this, I’m like, so were these was our country founded by
Speaker 2 01:53:27 Pirates? I mean, I, they just changed their names. I feel like it’s got a blog more likely. Yeah. Long Ben, is he Ben Franklin wait when it was Ben Franklin alive, because I don’t think that that fits,
Speaker 0 01:53:42 I think it does either. And I’m just being ridiculous, but I I’m just saying, I think it’s really funny that they print the governor of Pennsylvania. They’re like, please let us stay here. And also, do you need us to run things? Cool.
Speaker 2 01:53:55 Yeah. Do you want money to establish things or, or high pirates that became pirates to get out from under the British rule rule, then settle in a country that has a revolution to get out from under the British rule.
Speaker 0 01:54:12 Oh my God. It’s all making so much fucking sense.
Speaker 2 01:54:16 Oh, interesting.
Speaker 0 01:54:18 Yes. Oh man. Yeah, man. So, yeah, so that’s, that’s Henry every, I mean he was never found, um, people believe different things that I’ve, I now believe he’s one of our founding.
Speaker 2 01:54:34 So anyone else’s one of that, one of the founding fathers, fathers,
Speaker 0 01:54:39 Something, something I am, uh, questioning a lot of things at the moment, but yeah. Um, some people believe that he lived a life of poverty and died after being cheated out of his wealth, which like, no,
Speaker 2 01:54:53 He seems way too smart for that shit. Yeah.
Speaker 0 01:54:56 I mean like, look out, look how the rest of his life has gone. You think all of a sudden he’s going to be cheated out of his well, okay. Yeah. No. Um, others think that if he was living in poverty, he would have been captured on Warren’s much easier. Which makes also more sense. Yes. I mean just saying, you know, other, other stuff that people say about him is, um, Oh, this one’s gross. Sorry that he quote, found something more pleasing than jewels on the gone just way AKA, he obviously like kidnapped a female person like that. Yes.
Speaker 2 01:55:34 Why did somebody have to write it like that?
Speaker 0 01:55:37 You know, that’s a great fucking question. Actually. The gross Snus of it was like, that is actually how disgusting this makes me feel. And it probably is what happened. So yeah.
Speaker 2 01:55:49 Probably reflects the disgustingness level of that potential situation.
Speaker 0 01:55:55 Yeah. I’m going to say, yeah, I’m also had a son with her, um, uh, the theory, right? We don’t know that it’s true. No, this is a person. Oh,
Speaker 4 01:56:07 What? I think you said it was a theory.
Speaker 0 01:56:09 No, they’re saying that she was from the ganja sway, but she might not be, but people think that she was, um, and they had a son named Tom. He went on to carve out his own little pirate kingdom for himself in Eastern Madagascar. But yeah, that’s it. I don’t know what, I don’t have anything else on Henry. Every, he was never captured or tried. Um, and that’s just the story of Henry every AKA, the King of the pirates, AKA fucking long Ben. Huh?
Speaker 2 01:56:43 Every, every, every man’s worst nightmare.
Speaker 0 01:56:46 No, every everybody’s worst nightmare. That’s just, yeah. So, or the King of the pirates man, so terrible. So bad. So not cute. Not a cute look. It’s just, I’m so sorry about saying all of this. I, I didn’t, I didn’t, I wasn’t thinking about the fact that you had a pirate tattoo when I did the streets.
Speaker 4 01:57:07 Rosa is not polluted. Rosa is the only
Speaker 2 01:57:11 Cool pirate guys. Okay.
Speaker 4 01:57:13 She’s the only one in existence. The only one that matters. So what’d you think
Speaker 2 01:57:21 That was a very interesting and terrible story about pirates.
Speaker 0 01:57:25 It’s just, yeah, it’s a, it’s uh, it’s a deep dark hole, you know, and it’s one of those ones where I was like,
Speaker 4 01:57:32 Oh yeah, pirates. Cause even I was like, Oh, pirates are cool. You know,
Speaker 0 01:57:35 Parts of the Caribbean. That’s so funny. That’s so great. And it’s like, honestly, I really did not think seriously about pirates until now. I did not actually consider a where they came from, how they realistically knew shit that was going on. And also what they did with that information. I didn’t consider it. And this is just like, Oh, a wake up call for yours truly. And maybe some other people do, but yeah. And also pathology.
Speaker 4 01:58:05 Am I right? You don’t think about, I know,
Speaker 2 01:58:11 I feel like that’s what this podcast is becoming. It’s like the things we vaguely think about. And then when you really research it, you’re like, Ooh, I know
Speaker 0 01:58:20 Like that’s why I didn’t know about this. Cause I yeah.
Speaker 4 01:58:24 Want to honest, conscious level. So yeah. Thanks.
Speaker 0 01:58:32 Hi everybody. Um, hope you enjoyed our deep dives this week. Here’s our yeah, there you
Speaker 2 01:58:42 Go.
Speaker 0 01:58:42 What’s a Pirate’s favorite letter.
Speaker 2 01:58:45 R
Speaker 0 01:58:47 It’d be the C ah,
Speaker 2 01:58:53 I love it so much. I’m going to tell that to Evie. I’m sorry.
Speaker 0 01:58:58 Oh yeah, you should chill. Like it. That was, that was good. And I got you with that one. I got you with the Irishman state being outstanding in his own field. I was going to say that was a good one. Okay. That one was for dad too, but I mean, yes. It’s for the it’s for all of us, for the fam.
Speaker 2 01:59:22 That was, that was a lot. That’s a lot to unpack. I think it was a good episode though. Yeah, we did two, two very different things.
Speaker 0 01:59:30 Two very different things.
Speaker 2 01:59:33 You didn’t, you didn’t see mine coming, did
Speaker 0 01:59:35 You? Not at all. Not at all. It wasn’t until the legs shooting blood and pus on said person that I was like, Oh, that’s just crazy. I’m going to have to talk to the him, going to have to reach out after this and be like, Hey, are you, are you okay? Tara told me, are we getting into some wild and crazy things?
Speaker 2 02:00:00 No, it’s like, that’s the thing. If you like, describe it without the like lab aspect. Oh yeah, my job, you know, there’s just a shelf full of eyeballs. You know, I got a process. No, no, no, no. And then I need to organize the fridge of legs. You know, it’s just a busy day for me. Wow.
Speaker 0 02:00:19 How long organized can they get?
Speaker 2 02:00:24 I did not mean to cackle that loud, but like, it just happened,
Speaker 0 02:00:28 But yay. So awesome. So if you guys enjoyed this or if you like us or, you know, if you’re cool, please like please like us, you can find us obviously on Spotify or Apple or other things as well or anchor. Um, on Instagram, on Instagram, we are Wonderlust dot pod. We have a Twitter, um, until I start tweeting, I’m going to stop mentioning it. So yeah, it’s not really wrapped busloads and try to tweet us and maybe we’ll have like an archive of tweets. That would be cute. Little time capsule, but we’re not, we’re not really on Twitter. Um,
Speaker 2 02:01:08 I mean, if somebody said something to us, I would see it.
Speaker 0 02:01:12 Todd wanderlust. We’re both scared of Twitter. Okay. So be nice to us please. Sorry. Um, and then we’re we have the one or less If you guys want to send us, uh, ideas for stories or emails in general, that’s pretty much it. Thanks for hanging out with us. Be food signing off
Speaker 1 02:01:40 .

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